Who Am I?

I had assumed I would keep my married name after the divorce was final simply because it would be less complicated to have the same last name as my children, though I actually hadn't really given it much thought.

Until yesterday afternoon.

After we were done yesterday, my attorney let me know he still had some questions to ask (even though I'd testified for almost 3 hours already). They were the basic required questions to establish that I had filed with the court to dissolve the marriage, that there were irreconcilable differences, and if I was requesting that the court restore me to my former name. That got the wheels turning last night.

I thought about the pros and cons, considered the simplicity of sameness, and the issue of explaining a change to the kids. I realized that many children have different names than their mother, whether by divorce or design. After all, some women never take their new husband's name upon marriage in the first place.

Then I thought of how it would feel to be a Beck again.

So when my attorney asked me the question on the stand this morning I said that yes, I was requesting the court restore me to my former name. From that point on my attorney referred to me as "Dr. Beck" and it felt fabulous.

I made the right decision for me.

Bedtime Stories

I remember when reading bedtime stories involved me reading to them.

The Game of That's Mine, This is Yours

I had one of those marriages in which there was no "yours" and "mine"... there was only "ours." That goes for stuff, the house, savings and debt. In my case that was a big mistake. I suppose in many instances that kind of arrangement works perfectly. Perhaps it worked in the bygone days of a single-income household in which the earner has the spender on a budgeted allowance. However, when one works and just trusts the other to spend appropriately, a certain level of integrity must be present in the spender.
I am now spending hours trying to recreate the past... finding statements to bank accounts, 401ks, IRAs, and credit cards for the past umpteen years. Apparently it doesn't matter who spent what and if the other knew it was being spent; a credit card is "community debt" which the non-spender must pay half of. Apparently it doesn't matter who had the income; a 401k is a "community asset" which the non-earner is entitled to half of.
Doesn't really seem fair, does it?

The Autopia

If you're anything like me, you hate the Autopia. The line is always unreasonably long, the cars are uncomfortable to sit in, the pedal is too hard to hold down for the whole ride, and your kid thinks its more fun to slam the car against the rail down the center than to try and steer with it.

However, if you're anything like me, you'll gladly endure all of that just to see this look on your child's face. Worth it, don't you think?

Welcome Back

Most people who follow this blog already know that the sunshine and roses depicted herein over the last couple of years is, in at least some part, fiction. The problems were many and eventually became too much to live with so a change had to be made. The details of the split are personal... but the result is an ugly divorce. Its been almost a year since the split and it will be finalized in another month. We've got to be breaking some sort of speed record for a 12-month resolution considering how many trips to court and how much bickering there has been. I haven't been posting because I didn't know what to say. Unlike him, I don't feel it is appropriate to air our grievances in a public forum and, with so little else going on in the last year, it doesn't leave much to blog about.

However... life marches on. With regards to my career and home, my options are several. I'm planning on spending the next year figuring out what the hell to do (less if all goes wrong in court next month and I have to scramble). If you're interested in my progress as I leave the past behind and march into the future, feel free to check back once in a while... I'll share.

Um... Yeah...

You know how sometimes life gets so crazy you forget to make sure you put pants on before you leave the house?

When life is like that your blog tends to suffer.

I will return... I promise.

Happy Birthday Lorelai!

As promised, we took Lorelai to get her ears pierced on her 7th birthday. The kid's salon in the mall does both ears simultaneously so the piercee doesn't have to think about the second ear after experiencing the first. So great!

They gave her a sucker "for the pain".

She made faces and almost cried for a couple of hours, but by the end of her birthday dinner at Olive Garden, she was thrilled.

The other thing she was happy about was that we had told her she would probably get little gold balls for her first earrings, which is pretty traditional for piercers, but all the salon had left was cubic zirconias. She has sparklies instead!

Birthday Bowl

We went to a birthday party last weekend at the local bowling alley. The kids had a blast.


The had the guard-rails up so the kids were guaranteed to not get a gutter-ball.


Their technique was closer to throwing a softball and I've never seen it take so long for a ball to make it down the lane.


We actually had a point where the ball didn't make it and we had to hit it with another ball to get the lane clear. Bowling meets croquet.

I started recording this because she was starting to bop to the music (which you can't hear) but got lucky.

Again, can't hear the music he was rocking out to but- little dude's got some moves!

Final result: two strikes for Lorelai (one of which was guard-rail-free!) and one for Spence. I anticipate many future bowling birthday parties.

Christmas!

We took the kids to Tahoe for Christmas Eve and morning this year. They went up with my mom over the weekend before Christmas and I followed a few days later. They got to see a couple storms which was cool, snow falling is always magical.


By the time I got there the storms had past and we had beautiful sunshine on the new snow.


There was one present in particular that Spence was itching to open for days and the excitement was tangible.


The greatest invention ever - a doll house for boys. Its a fire station and police station complete with vehicles, dogs, people and furniture. It even has a toilet.


Spence had to have the fire captain hat to go along. It must be worn to protect one's head while playing Leapster.

Snow Dog.

Every time I drive into the Tahoe basin I think I should play tourist and pull over to take a picture of the amazing view. This year I went ahead and did it.